How am I suppose to feel after all these while?
Couldn't study today at all. Totally wasted time not being able to do maths. Any form of maths. Exam is coming in less than a week and here I am , sitting at a small corner curled up not knowing what to do. Blogging out all my feelings and action.

I mean like am I sucha failure?
I cant get him to let go of the hatred that had pulled him down so much. Getting all the nonsense from the teachers. He can't understand his enemy for the fuck I know what reason.
Monday is coming and fuck it I don't want to go to school!?
Half way thru my maths paper I went to get a cup 3/4 filled with milo powder. I tried stuffing it in, hoping that milo chocolate would distract me. Then as I eat and do my paper, I cried. But I stopped. I couldn't carry on crying. Idk why.
So I got up and sit in this corner where I am. Thinking about how I should go on. I can't hurt myself physically anymore because it's obvious. I don't want anyone to know. It hurts but it's worth it. Because to me it's like a punishment for not being able to be a person good enough for the world.

I give up. I will never text her again. I will never text anyone again because I'm afraid. I have a phobia of not getting replies.

I'm psychologically scared for the rest of my life.