I do regret So much about it.

Maybe I'm picky about work
Maybe I just don't have the confidence
or...
maybe I am just coming up with excuses because deep down I know what I want but im not getting it.
It's life isn't it?
I shouldn't have said anything to Ryan.
I shouldn't have skipped NPC retreat just for the interview.
I shouldn't have been so. . late in this.

No Point writing all these either.
But I just need someone who understands.
really what to do?